snake tracks
A walk from the car to the door. Weak legs, out of breath and exhausted. So next week I’m going in for another angiogram, where a catheter is pushed up through my groin into the femoral artery and snaked up into my heart. They’ll look for obstructions (I had 2 bypasses during my heart remodeling surgery 2 years ago) that might be causing my daily chest pains and then press further into the heart itself to test the pressure inside my ventricles.
I need to just put on my jammies and sleep for a day to get my energy back up. I’m okay sitting, though really tired right now. But any movement exhausts me and stopping every few hundred feet to rest just makes a trip to the store and adventure!
Arteries work better for bypass grafts than veins. I have one of each and it’s the vein graft they’re most curious about. If there is an obstruction in one of the grafts, the choice would be a stent (which was ruled out for me before) or open me back up and slap a new one in there. I prefer the former, as I hate that whistling sound the ventilator makes in recovery….
I was planning to fly to Michigan for a couple days this week to spend some time with Claire at University of Michigan. I wanted to be in her classroom as she taught, especially since I missed her graduation from George Washington U in DC because of heart problems. But heart problems there are and flying right now is not considered wise. Especially since I had two stops scheduled keeping me in the air for something like 6 hours. After my swollen leg after Mexico I think it’s a decent pass.
So anyone who is waiting for something from me this week will need to stand down. I need to rest in a big, big way and that includes sitting here at the keyboard.
I think this is my 11th or 12th catheterization, all of which I did fine with before and which I will do well with this time, I’m sure.
To know or not to know: that is the question many of us ask ourselves hypothetically. I think I would have closed that journal and pretended I never read those words about prognosis dates… But of course, you had to go and plug in the numbers. Wow. You’re a braver person than me, and braver, even, than I gave you credit for. Still, I’m curious…
I’m so sorry that your trip to Michigan to share some “teaching time” with Claire wasn’t a go. I know you were both looking forward to that time together, but I’m confident there will be other opportunities… May in Cali comes to mind, so rest NOW, so you can be here THEN. Although, the way YOU live life, rest has to be almost mandated. Please, don’t rush the resting. Resting is totally underestimated. Just give rest a chance… Have I repeated myself enough, yet???
Although the reason for this blog still both saddens and angers me, I’m glad to be able to read it again. For obvious reasons.
P.S. I like the new look. New chapters in life deserve a remodel…
~j
Update?